Love Makes You Vulnerable

IMG_2281-2

I believe the reason why people stay guarded is the fear of being hurt again. 

Sometimes I feel that I’ve found away past all the drama and the heartbreak- stay closed up.

Put all that is important to me in a fire-proof and water-proof safe, bolted to the center of my heart- where no one can get to it.

It’s really quite selfish.

As C.S. Lewis says,

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements;lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.” 

to love at all is to be vulnerable… is one of my favorite quotes.

It’s because I need to be reminded of it constantly.

 

Was not Jesus completely and utterly vulnerable as He hung upon the cross to bear my sins?

 

Vulnerable.

An enigma to many.

Rejected by most of society. 

But He radically changes the lives of those who choose to live in the light of His sacrifice.

Maybe the areas where we feel most slippery, weak, and inadequate in,

are the places and spaces where He chooses to work? That’s where awesome things happen!

 

But how will I ever get there if I am too busy guarding my heart from rejection?

 

Failures Aren’t Forever

20130125-200707.jpg

I hate it.
Screwing up-especially when I knew what I was supposed to right.

Like that time my dad forgot to turn off the oven and left the meatloaf inside.

It’s easy to tell someone, to get back right back up after they’ve fallen.

Sometimes, when I hear people tell me that, I scoff.
“That’s not going to make me feel better,” I say.

But what happens if the person who screwed up royally is you?

I wish that we could just forget- the past failures- and not let the guilt hang over us (me!)

You know when people say, “Ok, lets start out brand new- a clear slate” ?

That’s sweet. And sometimes it’s true. But most times, we just really can’t do that.

Because the consequences of our actions don’t just go away.

Like the meatloaf (more like a black, shriveled, piece of something that once resembled some sort of meat) won’t unburn itself, even if my mom will ever forgive dad for almost burning down the house.

But, even though people can’t just forget all the time, and consequences can’t just be wiped out,

I find it comforting that God can just forget.

Over and over and over again, we can see in the Bible, reminders of His faithfulness in spite our our unfaithfulness.

When we wholly confess that we have done wrong,
And are truly remorseful for it,
And ask for His forgiveness,

He puts it away and doesn’t bring it back, and dangle it in in front of you and make you feel like a loser.

“I–yes, I alone–will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” Is. 43:25

Now it’s one thing to say,
“I will speak of it no more”-
But it’s something completely different when you “think of it no more.”

(Who can do that?! I want to know!)

Then, maybe I can start to brush off the dust on me and slowly get up after all.

Because God isn’t high up on the clouds with an arsenal of lightning bolts, ready to aim at me.

He is willing and ready to forgive and forget

-And move on.

Even if I am not.

(note:
My parents were rushing to the E.R. since a loved one had an emergency.
My dad just doesn’t randomly leave the oven on when he leaves the house :))